The Kind of Leader I Want to Be

Roselle Ebarle
3 min readJul 30, 2020
Photo by Jehyun Sung on Unsplash

The kind of leader I want to be is the kind I’ve always wanted to work with.

As a software developer, I’ve mostly worked with male CEOs. It would have been nice to meet and work under a female startup founder. But turns out they’re dime in a dozen. A unicorn. I doubt if they even exist.

I mean who would get through the startup life anyway? I even plan to retire in a few years after I save up for my financial freedom. Yes, I would love to start a startup but raising and cleaning up after my dog even takes up most of my time. What if I were to raise a child? Should I not even raise a child at all?

But who wouldn’t when a puppy even looks as adorable as this??! This pup looks for me the whole day while I work at the office. And we spend all the time we could get in the mornings, evenings & weekends.

So what kind should I be?

I get a lot of unsolicited advice on how I should raise my dog. That I should be strict and instill discipline whenever I can.

And as soon as I started my role as a marketing manager, I noticed the subtle differences between how our CEO leads and how I actually manage the office. Sometimes I think I’m not even managing at all.

I understand that results are all that matter at the end of the day. And maybe there really is a type of leadership that leads to failure.

But I don’t think my lack of “managing” is wrong.

If people think that “managing” is being able to force people into staying in the office each day,

If people think that “managing” is not being empathetic towards your team,

If people think that “managing” is giving orders,

Then isn’t it high time we change the meaning of “management” asap?

I want to lead like…

I want to lead like a female.

If you get disciplined by your dad, you can come running to me for safety and help.

If you need help with your responsibilities, I’ll do it alongside you.

I’ll ask how you are. I’ll ask if you’ve eaten.

And I will feed you, a lot!

As much as I’d like to be respected, I would love it if you loved and liked me.

As a female, I will be kind, honest, and authentic. And I wouldn’t be scared of showing emotions.

If you make a mistake, I will fight for you and take on the bullets. And I will be committed to nurturing and helping you grow.

My pup is growing fast (6 months), and we spend all the time we could get. He still “play bites” but he listens well. He respects me. But most importantly, he loves me. And I love him.

If he makes a mistake I am patient (even when his dad is raging with fury). In training him, I work hard in being consistent.

I don’t care if he scratches me while playing hard, but I would never resort to the type of training some people stick with, which is to instill force and a little violence.

Someone dare hit my pup for being playful and they wouldn’t get to see my pup again.

Walk at the boulevard

After all, if you get people who are in an environment where they feel cherished and growing, and who actually sticks around till the end, isn’t that the best way to save on costs?

Meanwhile, I would like to be the kind of leader I wasn’t able to work with. And no matter how much backlash I get for it in the short-term, I’d show you the results in the long-term.

So I say this with conviction, I wouldn’t change the type of leader I am and would like to become.

I don’t need to lead like a man. I’m a woman.

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Roselle Ebarle

Full Stack Engineer | Tech consultant | Entrepreneur | Toastmasters | Founder of Muggtech